What is God to Me?


This is the comment, slightly expanded, that  I posted on Jerry Scott Fisher’s blog.  I added his blog to my blog roll as a courtesy, since he added mine to his.  I look forward to  his further observations about God.

What is “God” to me?

After 30 yrs of being a Christian, I  have gradually  come to believe “God” is a “Rorschach test.”

“God” is a convoluted composite of the hopes , desires and feelings we have developed and projected into the foggy inner core of our mind.   I believe “God” is a product of our cultural exposure, our parental upbringing, our personal experiences in life, our emotions and our biology.  “God” is alive in many individuals in the sense that “God” is a metaphor for a dynamic  system of interrelated thought processes operating at various levels of personal awareness.

I believe people can have profound thoughts and beliefs about “God” which can  drive them to do  amazing and wonderful deeds.    I believe a person’s beliefs about “God” have the potential to inspire him or her to utilize their minds,  bodies , resources and  relationships for the betterment of the community.

I also believe many people have an impoverished perception of “God” that can drive them to be destructive to themselves and others.   Setting the extremes of religion-based violence aside,  I have seen that  people allow themselves to be distorted into fear-based, superficial, two-dimensional deviations from the grander  visions for humanity that exist in our world of cultures today.    For many people, this distortion of a grander ideal began at an early age during  phases of growth where they had little control over the development of  their self-image and their concepts of God.

Myself, I am at a precipice.   At 45 years old I have recently given up any notions of an actual  Being out there, working for our benefit – – – rewarding our service to Him with the coveted blessings of peace, prosperity , health, meaning or purpose.

And the “hope of Heaven?”  Trickery at worst.  Sweet Dreams  at best.  Heaven is the ultimate promise of reward for those who “straighten up and fly right.”  “Heaven” is a comfort for those who have suffered the common indignities of life.  Does it exist? I have no way of knowing.

The same goes for Hell.  The idea of Hell is manipulation at worst, the threat of unceasing torture for non-compliance to an arbitrary and ambiguous set of rules.  At its most noble, the idea of Hell  is a product of  the struggle for a sense of final justice .  Does Hell exist? I have no way of knowing.

I don’t particularly like my new view of the world. This new viewpoint does not make me happy necessarily. But I am filled with the satisfaction that a new sense of clarity brings.

Like the character Fox Mulder on the TV Show X-Files, “I want to believe.”   However, like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, “I want the truth!”

In order to face the world without the sickening knot of the knowledge of compromise in my gut, I must say to anyone who bothers to ask me my opinion of the matter:     God is a dynamic mental construct that drives us sane or insane or somewhere in the middle.   And we may not be in control of the outcome.


2 Responses to “What is God to Me?”

  1. 1 PeeJay

    Thanks for commenting over at my place. I’ve read through several of your posts and am blown away with the careful thought and writing style. I wish I could say my blog is that important in the greater atheist conspiracy, but honestly, I am who I am. Great work! And furthermore, your appreciation of Peanuts is to be commended.

    • 2 2serious


      I appreciate your taking a look at my blog.
      You said:

      I am who I am

      . . .

      Which is exactly why your blog works.
      Speaking of peanuts, I bought the book Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography today at B&N. I’m really excited about it.

      With which Peanuts character do you identify with the most?

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