What happened to my faith?


Dr. Johnson Philip posted a reply yesterday to my introductory post.  He  asked what happened to the make my faith dwindle.  The word “dwindle” implies a gradual loss over time.  There are a number of factors that “drained” my faith and caused my faculty of reason to develop new positions as time went by.   What follows is an attempt to identify the more significant factors.

  1. I spent too much time making excuses for the behavior of God’s people. Too many times I saw that what happens with the Church can be explained more in terms of personal psychology, organizational psychology, and sociology and not by the transforming activity of the Holy Spirit. I concluded that, despite the best intentions of many of “God’s” people, the lives of “His” people just do not provide sufficient reason to believe “He” is there.
  2. Science does not provide a complete view of reality, but it explains more than faith, religion or a creationist interpretation of scripture ever did. There seems to be no need for a God (big “G” or little “g”) to explain reality as it relates to origins. While science does reach a limit where an uncaused Cause appears plausible, the choice between “God” as the uncaused Cause and an uncaused Universe does not tilt in favor of God. Nor does a belief in God as the uncaused Cause necessarily lead to some version of God portrayed in the Old Testament, the New Testament or any other form of the Abrahamic religions’ scriptures.
  3. Despite more than a decade of praying for wisdom, guidance, transformation and personal prosperity with an honest and sincere heart, nothing happened inside or outside of me that can conclusively be pointed to as God’s intervention or involvement. Good things have happened to me. A few bad things have happened to me. But nothing really has happened objectively or subjectively to say that God is involved in the little slice of the world known as my life.
  4. I finally quit praying for things and simply began to ask God to communicate with me in some way that would be clear to me. I so wanted to know God, but nothing happened subjectively to lead me to believe God was showing Himself to me.

This is a summary, in more or less chronological order, of the reasons that caused it to become clear to me that there is not enough reason to believe that the God I worshipped and believed in for 30 + years exists.

I didn’t come to these conclusions easily; I fought them as long as I could. A lot of important issues that probably would have figured more prominently in my thought processes were I a deeper person were held in tension and kept under the surface. These tensions are being released as I unpack them and rethink them in light of my newly forming world view.


2 Responses to “What happened to my faith?”

  1. Thanks for posting a reply to my inquiry. I read it all with full understanding of what you are trying to say because I myself have gone through this experience.

    I have a few questions after reading the 4 points above,

    1. I fully agree with point 1
    2. I partially agree with point 2, but am curious to know “how much” is science able to explain in comparison to the Christian faith?
    3. What right do or I have to make such a request.
    4. What right do we have to make such a demand.

    Johnson C. Philip, PhD (Physics)

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